The Common Courtesy of Compelling Communication

​- by Sam David

​Sometimes, people can become insensitive and tone-deaf. They say what they want to say, but tune out reality.

In the end, all we have is that complicated thing called "reputation". An unpolluted personal reputation is unequivocally one of the most imperative ingredients a human being can cultivate in life -- it is, in fact, the single most essential factor to moving forward through the years with grace, dignity and diplomacy. 

So too is the integrity of one's professional reputation in business -- part and parcel to one's character -- and absolutely vital because it isn't just one aspect of who we are; rather, individual respectability infiltrates and influences every conceivable aspect of business. Both your work reputation and mine are intricately interconnected tubing structures that nourish the other through the flow of open and intelligent communication.

And that, no doubt, is the downside to e-mailing. Written words tend to be typed so impetuously that sometimes little thought is given to their potential impact. All too frequently, a message hastily clicked off can have devastating consequences, quickly throwing gasoline on the fire. 

The foundation to professional relationships must be built on key principles like mutual respect, idea-exchanges, chemistry, and trust (to name a few).

But one word -- t-r-u-s-t -- is unique and sacred. Respect and a polished expression of word exchanges may fade over time as relationships peak and valley. But trust? Once trust has deteriorated, the game is over. Because when trust erodes, so does the souring of that relationship.

I learned long, long ago never -- not ever -- to assume anything. Your relationship with others should always, by necessity, be based on crystal clear communication and trust -- not on assumptions. Because any e-mail, even when not by design or deliberate intent, can be innocently misconstrued. The tone of any written paper can come off as accusatory, or even arrogant in its choice of phrasing.

During those stressful times when such a situation arises, one need's to promptly clear the air regarding the contents contained in that communication. Respectfully pick up the phone and talk about the issue immediately (especially if you misspoke inappropriately on paper). Always try to give others the benefit of the doubt. Because from my perspective (both personal and professional), sometimes people simply do not think things out, and that can usually lead to great misunderstandings (and lots of grief). It's not about controlling content, but rather, the frequent absence of genuine and effective communication.

Remember BUSINESS 101: never assume anything at any time, because to ASS-U-ME anything in life can make an ASS out of you and me.